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So I don't have a clue. Life's shit kinda lately, what with the fact that me and my father don't get on, and are constantly at eachothers throats, the fact that I almost always drink when I feel down, which I am worried may lead to addiction, I can't get a girlfriend (for many reasons, which I will explain later) So, as regards my father, we don't get on. Never have realy, my mother left him for a year when I was like 7, and took my brother, sister and I with her. She left cause I pissed my father off one night, by being a child and playing with the phone. Cunt got a wooden block and threw it at me, hit my toe, and I had a school play that night. Toe was broken, I think, and because of the thick cunt, I had to limp around on stage for an hour, and lie that a brick had landed on my toe from an old shed we had. Even lied to the doctor, when she was checking it at 3x its normal size.

So my mother thought he was crazy, left him. But after a year, he asked (or begged, didnt see it happening) us to come back, and, seeing as I was the one who had taken the abuse, left the choice down to me, either go back to him, or stay where we were. Being the retard I was, I chose to return home. Yeah, so things eventualy returned to normal, and as I got older, fights became more common place. So yeah, after another major row, my mother moved us away again, for 5years this time. So I was in a new school, and graduated from primary school there. I enjoyed primary school, things were simple, no stupid assholes trying to fuck your day over.

Then, my mother decides it right to return to my old house (for the second time). However, what with me being older and wiser, I created massive problems for her, and forced her to stay away for another year, as I attended my first year of secondry. Yeah, so it was a fucked up year, bullied by my old primary friends amazingly (don't you hate it when people you like turn on you?), and stupid little fuckers from elsewhere that I had never seen before. So I put up with all that for a year, in the end I got a gf, (this is when I was like, 13/14) who was aware of how miserable school had made me, and how much I was depressed with people constantly bullying me. Well, seeing as how back then, I was half thick, I decided to grow my hair long. So yeah, mocked for that also, on top of other reasons. So then the end of 1st year came, and I dumped my gf, cause my mother was now forcing me to return to where I used to live.

That was hard, aint going to forget hearing her crying, but she has a new bf, and they seem to be going well. So yeah, after 1st year, I returned to my old house, and looked forward to starting a new life in school. Now, bare in mind, I had long hair at this time. So that summer went by slow, and then it was time for me to start my new school. Yeah, I went in September 06. Yup, first thing that happened?eople mocking my long hair. As If I gave a shit, I had it for a year anyway, became imune to slags.

Though after a month I cut it, cause it began to annoy me. So yeah, at that time, I got involved with a guy who was in a group of bad people. So he introduced me, and they all seemed fine, I got on with em. Then one day I got a call from one of them, and she invited me in to go drinking. I said sure, went in, and got introduced to more people, got alot of phone numbers, and began to get involved with regular drinking etc. Now, these people took drugs, but I never did. So, after about 6 months of being involved with this group, I fell for one of the, how can I say this :/, 'most respected' girls of the groups sister.

Now, she was 17, and her sister was 16. So after a long time, I eventualy asked her sister out, and she said 'maybe'. After a month or two of constant 'maybe's we eventualy got together, and made out in a playground when we were both drunk. Well, we were 'going' apparantly, but we never kissed again, or realy saw eachother again, because, as you guessed, her older sister (the one in the group) went fucking mental, and told me that if I ever came near her sister again, she would have me beaten up horrificaly. And she meant it. At the same time, I had called another member of the same group, a drug addict, and he tried to choke me, but I ran. So the 2 of them turned the whole group on me, and I never went back to them.

However, I got someone involved, I introduced them, and the group loved him. All because they respected his brother (a fucking drug addict, who has had to repeat his final exams 3 times). Well, this little bastard began to piss me off, and I fought him last september. So he told the group, that if they ever saw me on my own or vulnerable, to kick the living shit out of me. So now, still, I have a group of roughly 30 people who hate me, and wouldnt hesitate to hurt me. Now, ontop of this, the fact that I used to hang with this group, shunned my reputation dramatically, ontop of the fact that I used to have long hair. Most people now think I am a drug addict, though I never in my life have taken drugs, so hence, I will never have a girlfriend from where I live.

I have good friends, I do indeed, but my chances of a gf here are roughly .01%. Now, back to my father, even though I was in with this group, he didnt care, and our fights got much worse. So, when I was 15 I guess, thats when the fist fights started. The one I will never forget was quite recently, roughly 2 or 3 months ago, in which my father and I were both drunk, and I pissed him off. He started to argue infront of my relatives, and I went out of the bar into the car. My mother was driving us home, and he said something that made me loose it, he called me a drug addict. So I jumped out of the moving car, and draged him out with me.

I caught him, and punched him in the stomach, knocked him, and kicked him in the legs. Then I ran, and stayed away for hours. Though he started it, and has done the same to me, I of course felt guilty, and appologised. Yeah, accepted, but I don't care. I am leaving home in 2 years anyway, and finaly will not have to deal with people who hate me, or my father. Now, drinking wise, this has gotten me drunk quite often. I often snook a whisky or a vodka cause I was feeling down over a bad day, or had a fight with someone.

I'm not an alcoholic, and I never will be, I don't need drink to function, but I don't like the fact that life gets me down, to a typical cliché drunk, drinking cause of problems I am having. Life has been hard on me, but I see it that in 2 years, I will be free, and can move away from this shithole of a place where I live, which is becoming infested with chavs, and has no good atmosphere

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Ps: I forgot to mention that I am currently jobless, have no money to spend (hence no social life), The only girl that I actualy give a care about lives 150 miles away and I've never seen her, my fuckin cousin is on anti depressants, which stops us goin fucking shit mad drinking, and um, my life sucks in general Single people: There's no point in trying, everyones taken.
The only thing keeping me somewhat hoping, is the song: Three Little Birds by Bob Marley

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They say learning to love yourself is the first step,
that you take when you want to be real...
Just Be - Dj Tiesto

You definitely don't need money to have a social life.  If that's the kind of situation you're in now, get the fuck out.  You're almost an adult, you'll be free to go wherever you want.  Go somewhere where you aren't stuck with a bunch of pricks who only have fun when they're spending money.

I won't talk about the alcohol, I'm sure you don't want to hear it.

And there's so much more to life than having a girlfriend that it's not even funny.

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I REP THE BAY AREA

where real hip hop lyricism is real music.

Not having a girl does not ruin your life, and just because you don't have one doesn't mean you have to rag on every relationship in the world since there are obviously many people who are doing just fine.

Gtfo the bottle and get your shit together and move on.

Post edited at 1:59 pm on July 3, 2008 by Bzoink

Most of that was about girls, and you said you're a teen so it's not like it matters... some people have never been in a relationship until they are adults, at least you can say you've had a relationship.

You've got plenty of time, you don't need to have a girlfriend now, focus on one thing at a time. Try and cut down on the alcohol, then cigarettes, then try and find a job, and once these are all sorted you can start to think about relationships.

You should see someone about these problems, someone who can properly help (not your GP).