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Things my mother has told me...  |
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Replies: 75 Last Post July 8 3:04pm by barnabas
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Porcelina
homewrecker
Patron
Support Leader
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This is more of a father story than a mother story. My dad just randomly moved back into our house after leaving 2 years ago. We can't quite kick him out as my parents aren't actually divorced yet and his name is on the house. Anyway, he is terribly childish and likes to try to provoke by way of changing his user name on the computer to things like "asshole," "worthless," "Ucantcallmechubsfatass" (You can't call me chubs, fatass. Referring to my mother), "edisegualto1/2mcg" (Ed, my father, is "egual," as in equal, to 1/2 of my mother). Well, none of us bothered to say anything because we find it to be amusing that he's such a moron. So, he decided to mess with my mother's user name and setting. He changed her name to "AssGrowsBiggerByTheDay." I managed to see it first, so I changed it back to her name. She got on the computer the next day, and pulled up the internet, and he had changed her homepage to bigtwats.com. Luckily, my mom just thought this was the funniest thing ever, so we were saved from a verbal tirade.
------- your whole life is leading up to this Do you like points? Do you like being?
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1:36 pm on June 20, 2008 | Joined Jan. 2005 | 1043 Days Active Join to learn more about Porcelina Pennsylvania, United States | Label Free Female | 7294 Posts | 25857 Points
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OLPFan200
Your Mother's Greatest Lover
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Wow. Your dad's a dick.
------- Share your webcomics The worst thing you can do, is trick yourself into thinking that you are special.
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barnabas
Audrey in training
Sustainer
Support Leader
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way to temper your words Porcelina.
------- Everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and you who have no money come, buy and eat. Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost.-Isaiah 55:1 www.wateringmalawi.com
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2:34 pm on June 20, 2008 | Joined Nov. 2004 | 917 Days Active Join to learn more about barnabas Minnesota, United States | Straight Female | 27422 Posts | 37921 Points
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( RachLeigh13 )
It's only forever...
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I cringe whenever my mom says the word "vagina" it just sounds gross coming out of her mouth.
------- "Though we're strangers till now We're choosing the path between the stars I'll leave my love between the stars" -'As the World Falls Down' Labyrinth
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koko
Visionary
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My mom is a crazyyyyyy bitch. I mean, take all your stories together, and multiply them by ten ..thousand. I'll tell you one story later...
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brookie chookie23
Guru
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Once, when I was younger and out shopping with my mum, I told her I had a wedgie. She then stopped, leaned over and said in a quiet voice, "That's a naughty word, don't say it again." I was confused, because I had said it at home and she hadn't told me off. Looking back, I realise she did it because we were in a public place and she must have been embarrassed when I declared I had a wedgie.
------- Check out my: Art|Blog|Website Need help with photography or graphic design? Ask me!
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Blank black
Enlightened One
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Quote: from gorgeous nugget at 7:01 pm on June 16, 2008
Don't worry, my friends dad told him from a young age that "you can't fuck a personality." 
He has a point.
------- Nobody ever loses their memory. It just gets locked away like the mad woman in the attic. Occasionally you hear her scream, But you don't dare unlock the door and look in.
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carbonara
I'm Lost
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Quote: from brookie chookie23 at 4:57 am on July 7, 2008
Once, when I was younger and out shopping with my mum, I told her I had a wedgie. She then stopped, leaned over and said in a quiet voice, "That's a naughty word, don't say it again." I was confused, because I had said it at home and she hadn't told me off. Looking back, I realise she did it because we were in a public place and she must have been embarrassed when I declared I had a wedgie. 
My mother is very strict about 'swear words', until i was 16 i wasn't allowed to say the word 'fart' and she used to make me say the word 'fluff' or 'pump' instead. That proved to be very embarrassing around my friends.
------- Week in and week out, Your lucky charms will always let you down, Maybe next week we'll see, Maybe.
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brookie chookie23
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Quote: from carbonara at 8:34 pm on July 7, 2008
Quote: from brookie chookie23 at 4:57 am on July 7, 2008
Once, when I was younger and out shopping with my mum, I told her I had a wedgie. She then stopped, leaned over and said in a quiet voice, "That's a naughty word, don't say it again." I was confused, because I had said it at home and she hadn't told me off. Looking back, I realise she did it because we were in a public place and she must have been embarrassed when I declared I had a wedgie. 
My mother is very strict about 'swear words', until i was 16 i wasn't allowed to say the word 'fart' and she used to make me say the word 'fluff' or 'pump' instead. That proved to be very embarrassing around my friends. 
My mum was the same. Wasn't allowed to say 'bloody' either. She still gets offended if I swear around her, and I'm 18. Post edited at 5:00 am on July 7, 2008 by brookie chookie23
------- Check out my: Art|Blog|Website Need help with photography or graphic design? Ask me!
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( RachLeigh13 )
It's only forever...
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We couldn't say butt when we were around my best friend's mom. We said "Telly-poe"
------- "Though we're strangers till now We're choosing the path between the stars I'll leave my love between the stars" -'As the World Falls Down' Labyrinth
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