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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / LiveWire Members of Yore / Viewing Topic

Things my mother has told me...
that are utterly ridiculous or weird
Replies: 75Last Post July 8 3:04pm by barnabas
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Porcelina


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This is more of a father story than a mother story.

My dad just randomly moved back into our house after leaving 2 years ago. We can't quite kick him out as my parents aren't actually divorced yet and his name is on the house.
Anyway, he is terribly childish and likes to try to provoke by way of changing his user name on the computer to things like "asshole," "worthless," "Ucantcallmechubsfatass" (You can't call me chubs, fatass. Referring to my mother), "edisegualto1/2mcg" (Ed, my father, is "egual," as in equal, to 1/2 of my mother).
Well, none of us bothered to say anything because we find it to be amusing that he's such a moron. So, he decided to mess with my mother's user name and setting. He changed her name to "AssGrowsBiggerByTheDay." I managed to see it first, so I changed it back to her name. She got on the computer the next day, and pulled up the internet, and he had changed her homepage to bigtwats.com. Luckily, my mom just thought this was the funniest thing ever, so we were saved from a verbal tirade.

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1:36 pm on June 20, 2008 | Joined Jan. 2005 | 1043 Days Active
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OLPFan200


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Wow. Your dad's a dick.

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1:39 pm on June 20, 2008 | Joined Oct. 2002 | 864 Days Active
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Porcelina


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He is . . . interesting.

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your whole life is leading up to this
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1:43 pm on June 20, 2008 | Joined Jan. 2005 | 1043 Days Active
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barnabas


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way to temper your words Porcelina.

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Everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and you who have no money
come, buy and eat. Come, buy wine and milk without money and
without cost.-Isaiah 55:1
www.wateringmalawi.com

2:34 pm on June 20, 2008 | Joined Nov. 2004 | 917 Days Active
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( RachLeigh13 )


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I cringe whenever my mom says the word "vagina" it just sounds gross coming out of her mouth.

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"Though we're strangers till now
We're choosing the path between the stars
I'll leave my love between the stars"
-'As the World Falls Down' Labyrinth

11:57 am on June 30, 2008 | Joined June 2003 | 1713 Days Active
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Tavis


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I feel young :(
I live with my mommy still. I'm only 15 tho. I have yet to get the most of her crazy advice, but I'm thinking my dad will be the more advicey cause I'm a guy so we connect more I find. Although it seems like they are shocked on how much I know. Like I mentioned how I had shaved (wasn't even my first time or anything), and she was like "What? Did dad give you a lesson?" and I was like "Uhh, nope, I'm smarter then that".

They all know so much less on what you know.

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1:42 pm on July 1, 2008 | Joined Dec. 2006 | 508 Days Active
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koko


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My mom is a crazyyyyyy bitch. I mean, take all your stories together, and multiply them by ten ..thousand.
I'll tell you one story later...

1:38 pm on July 3, 2008 | Joined Nov. 2004 | 445 Days Active
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brookie chookie23


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Once, when I was younger and out shopping with my mum, I told her I had a wedgie. She then stopped, leaned over and said in a quiet voice, "That's a naughty word, don't say it again." I was confused, because I had said it at home and she hadn't told me off. Looking back, I realise she did it because we were in a public place and she must have been embarrassed when I declared I had a wedgie.

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8:57 pm on July 6, 2008 | Joined Nov. 2004 | 1016 Days Active
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Blank black


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Quote: from gorgeous nugget at 7:01 pm on June 16, 2008

Don't worry, my friends dad told him from a young age that "you can't fuck a personality."
He has a point.

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carbonara


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Quote: from brookie chookie23 at 4:57 am on July 7, 2008

Once, when I was younger and out shopping with my mum, I told her I had a wedgie. She then stopped, leaned over and said in a quiet voice, "That's a naughty word, don't say it again." I was confused, because I had said it at home and she hadn't told me off. Looking back, I realise she did it because we were in a public place and she must have been embarrassed when I declared I had a wedgie.

My mother is very strict about 'swear words', until i was 16 i wasn't allowed to say the word 'fart' and she used to make me say the word 'fluff' or 'pump' instead. That proved to be very embarrassing around my friends.

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4:04 am on July 7, 2008 | Joined Oct. 2005 | 848 Days Active
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brookie chookie23


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Quote: from carbonara at 8:34 pm on July 7, 2008

Quote: from brookie chookie23 at 4:57 am on July 7, 2008

Once, when I was younger and out shopping with my mum, I told her I had a wedgie. She then stopped, leaned over and said in a quiet voice, "That's a naughty word, don't say it again." I was confused, because I had said it at home and she hadn't told me off. Looking back, I realise she did it because we were in a public place and she must have been embarrassed when I declared I had a wedgie.
 

My mother is very strict about 'swear words', until i was 16 i wasn't allowed to say the word 'fart' and she used to make me say the word 'fluff' or 'pump' instead. That proved to be very embarrassing around my friends.


My mum was the same. Wasn't allowed to say 'bloody' either. She still gets offended if I swear around her, and I'm 18.

Post edited at 5:00 am on July 7, 2008 by brookie chookie23

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4:59 am on July 7, 2008 | Joined Nov. 2004 | 1016 Days Active
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barnabas


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I had to say toot.

I like flufff, thats funny.

-------
Everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and you who have no money
come, buy and eat. Come, buy wine and milk without money and
without cost.-Isaiah 55:1
www.wateringmalawi.com


8:13 am on July 7, 2008 | Joined Nov. 2004 | 917 Days Active
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( RachLeigh13 )


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We couldn't say butt when we were around my best friend's mom. We said "Telly-poe"

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"Though we're strangers till now
We're choosing the path between the stars
I'll leave my love between the stars"
-'As the World Falls Down' Labyrinth

8:54 am on July 8, 2008 | Joined June 2003 | 1713 Days Active
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audrey820


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What did you guys call a penis?

I had a younger brother so we naturally saw him nude when he was little. She told us it was dink. Apparently that's an odd word.

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Click here for a good time. ;)


10:04 am on July 8, 2008 | Joined Aug. 2004 | 1064 Days Active
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( RachLeigh13 )


It's only forever...

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Yall remember the silos that hold fodder?


I told my sister they were called "Penis" and she would shout "PENIS, PENIS, PENIS" as we passed them.


Granma Dot calls her privates a monkey... and her chest her "Bust" but we always thought she was saying "bus."

-------
"Though we're strangers till now
We're choosing the path between the stars
I'll leave my love between the stars"
-'As the World Falls Down' Labyrinth


3:00 pm on July 8, 2008 | Joined June 2003 | 1713 Days Active
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